this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I intend to get homeless drunk
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize