Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
