he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
