I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
