why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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