Already got asked if we're dating
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
