Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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