how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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