A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All the doctor said was why
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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