He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
