I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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