My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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