you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
