Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
