Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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