Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
