i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
