Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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