i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
