Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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