just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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