Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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