Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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