Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
