New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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