I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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