dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
