I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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