Cold hands, warm shart.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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