she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
