i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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