I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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