She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just pynch a tree in the face
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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