please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
