Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
