i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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