this beer tastes like vomit already
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
