Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
