God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
