This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize