I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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