I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
