Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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