Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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