that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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