He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
