The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
