My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
