she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
