I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
