So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
