So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
