Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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