i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
