he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
