none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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