So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
