So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I supernannyed him into submission
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
