well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
