the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I said "one day" and that day is not today
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize