his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
