JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
