Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
